no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
