Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
