I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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