and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry about my life...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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