one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
