jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
