I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
