Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I believe in your delicious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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