I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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