what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
