I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
