There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
