How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize