these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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