i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm always down for nudity.
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