Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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