Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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