No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
