maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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