I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
