so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
