I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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