I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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