mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
