I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
