Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
