ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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