I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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