cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
