I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
