i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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