i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
