I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
