There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
