The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
