I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
