Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
