There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
jump out the window naked night went bad
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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