I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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