You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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