i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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