Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
