I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
