She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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