The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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