He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
