I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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