It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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