I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
