I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
