Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
