Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think your dad took our porno
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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