We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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