glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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