so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
