how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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