i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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