I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
